1. |
And You Won't
01:15
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Welcome to the state you live in
Welcome to the way you live your life
And I don't want to tell you
How it goes, 'cause no one knows
Where I am and how to give a damn
About you, I know I'm unforgivable
I know you're living miserable
So I welcome you to open arms
I'm holding out for hope
And telling you I'm not afraid anymore
Take your time, God knows
I need it too, that's all
And I leave it up to you
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2. |
||||
A verse to bring her to sleep
She needs words to help her down
'Cause in the morning at work outside
She's so self-conscious in the window
She lingers on, and I see her from my desk
I'd like to reach out to her, but I know it's not my place
She's got her drug knuckles out in full force
She's gotta reconsider and feel remorse
And find recourse
She'd rather hear the truth than have me lie
And I know I've got holes in my alibi
But I don't know if I could look her in the eye
And tell her that I know what's wrong
But I'm afraid that she won't want to change
I've seen her around, and I can see her fingers (see her fingers swell)
She's got her drug knuckles out in full force
She's gotta reconsider and feel remorse
She's got her drug knuckles out in full force
She's gotta reconsider and feel remorse
And find recourse
She's got her drug knuckles out in full force
She's gotta reconsider and feel remorse
She's got her drug knuckles out in full force
She's gotta reconsider and feel remorse
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3. |
The One
03:15
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Truth is I never thought of us together
You're just a friend of mine
We should know better, this can't last forever
But kiss me one more time
Romance is fine, pour me some wine
Tell me it's just for the fun of it
Far from your eyes, hard to deny when
I don't want love, don't want none of it
If you want to, you can stay the night
I don't want to be the one, the one
If you want to, you can hold me tight
I don't want to be the one, the one
It's too much pressure
It's too much pressure
It's too much pressure
I don't want to be the one, the one
We're cooking dinner, I wear your socks and slippers
It's been a long, long day
It's just so easy, love the way you read me
I never have to say
Romance is fine, pour me some wine
Tell me it's just for the fun of it
Far from your eyes, hard to deny when
I don't want love, don't want none of it
If you want to, you can stay the night
I don't want to be the one, the one
If you want to, you can hold me tight
I don't want to be the one, the one
It's too much pressure
It's too much pressure
It's too much pressure
I don't want to be the one, the one
Don't fall in love, fall in love, fall in love, fall in love
Don't fall in love, fall in love, fall in love, fall in love
Don't fall in love, fall in love, fall in love, fall in love
Don't fall in love, fall in love, fall in love, fall in love
If you want to, you can stay the night
I don't want to be the one, the one
If you want to, you can hold me tight
I don't want to be the one, the one
It's too much pressure
It's too much pressure
It's too much pressure
I don't want to be the one, the one
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4. |
||||
I think I'm stuck in the intellectuality of textbook situations that involve me and you-u
Figure A: Here's my dumb reflection in the window of a store and Figure B: I don't know what to do-o
Figure C: is where things start to stop making any sense, I'll blame pretense and obfuscation on my part
I'll spare you the rest and before you protest, I'll have you know that I just made it all up
I made it all up
I made it up and I'll admit that
I wanna be created
I wanna be appreciated
I want to build myself up and wait for someone to knock me down
I wanna be a realist
I wanna be idealistic
I wanna take tectonic plates and shift them all around like on a Rubik's cube
I'd like you all to pretend that was coherent
I have no ardor, I feel like death
I'd rather if you didn't sweat
I can't afford to let teenage passion be beyond me (but here we are?)
And in this life that's so collegiate
I try my best to be expedient
The earlier I get someplace will have an effect on when it ends
I just wait for it to end
Whether or not that doom impends
I'd like to ask you what you think about this great idea I had; let me clear my throat, 'cause I think it's a good one
Well, I was wondering, well, if you didn't mind, I mean, I guess I want to know if we could be Facebook official
And it's okay if you say no, and it's okay if it's too early, and it's fine with me if you just don't think of us that way
But I was hoping, wishing, praying, getting down onto my knees, I trick myself into having feelings and I don't go halfway
No, I can't really breathe
Here, let me take off the mask, um
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5. |
Peep-Hole 2
01:36
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Give me the cost of the albatross
And wear it 'round your neck for size
Don't let it get you down
I'm looking inside your house
Oh, and it smells so nice
Your house always looks so nice
Maybe they're twice as high, laughing
Maybe the time is right, you know
Promise me not to leave
I'm looking inside your brain
And Christ, it's a cluttered mess
I love you, I must confess
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6. |
Jupiter (demo)
02:45
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Take me with you when you leave
You're off t(w)o lands beyond, and I'm left bittersweet
Tell me how's the atmosphere
When you look down to Earth, remember me down here
I don't think that I'll have any sympathy
When you're swallowed up by her gravity
Her embrace is your grave plot
But by then you'll be long gone
I think in all that time I will have to have let you go
In a thousand years, they will find what's left
I'd say a few pieces of metal, if I had to hazard a guess
Time goes by like it's worthless
I just think of our last kiss
If in all those years, I'm here, I'd probably just sit there and watch
But I'm still jealous of you and her
What do I lack that's had by Jupiter?
I remember months ago
I caught you red-faced, looking in your telescope
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7. |
Jimmy Carter Hat
01:44
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I can't remember a year ago
I can't remember last night
Somewhere in the furniture I swear I had myself
But I lost it with the crumbs between the cracks
Take less here for granted
Take yourself away
You don't need the things you have
The silk pajamas, the leather jacket
You don't need the anorak
Your mama's socks, dad's knife collection
Think about your bedtime
Hat hair's in the past
You don't need your silver spoon
Your mixtapes and Gorilla Glue
I never was in love with you
I only loved your hat (I only, only, only loved your hat)
You'll throw out all your nice knit caps
And all that's left is the stack of other hats
You'll toss out all the baseball caps
And all that's left is your Jimmy Carter hat
And all that's left is your Jimmy Carter hat
And all you'll wear is your Jimmy Carter hat
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8. |
Travel Back in Time
03:49
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If I could travel back in time
I'd give myself a body, give myself a body
In which I could feel beautiful
My only regret is being born
My only regret is being born
It hits me hard
But don't tell me it's not far
I know the truth
And I have nothing to lose
Go, go, go, don't resist it
Turn, turn, turn, don't you miss it
Switch off the lights and take cover
Don't make a sound 'til it's over
If I could travel back in time
I'd give myself a body, give myself a body
In which I could feel beautiful
My only regret is being born
My only regret is being born
I lose control
I learn to spit out all my bile and vitriol
I know where I am
But that doesn't change what I am
Stab, stab, stab and then twist it
Rip out the knife, then your fist hits
Lines start to blur in between you
Who's not to say that it's not true?
If I could travel back in, travel back in time
I'd give myself a body, give myself a body
In which I could feel beautiful
My only regret is being born
If I could travel back in time
I'd give myself a body, give myself a body
In which I could feel beautiful
My only regret is being born
My only regret is being born
My only regret is being born
My only regret is being born
My only regret is being born
Oh, whoa oh
Oh, whoa oh
Oh, whoa oh
Oh, whoa oh
And I try as hard as I can to try to live with how I am
I push it to the back of my mind and I try not to look in the mirror
And I try to reconcile that I'll never be the way I want
I'll always be existing in a form that I'll never like
And I am trying to be happy, and I am trying to be happy
I'm busy just existing, and something feels missing, but it's something that I'll never have
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9. |
Appendix (demo)
03:49
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Smoke billows below, it's stop-and-go traffic
All down the roadway, into the neighbourhood
Day after day and year after year
But nothing changes
I live alone in a bungalow
Go past the park and leave behind the condos
House after house and street after street
We have to make ends meet
And though everybody dies frustrated and sad
You're beautiful, you're beautiful, you're beautiful, you're beautiful
And though everybody dies cold and alone
You're powerful, you're powerful, you're powerful, you're powerful
And though you've come up to the end of the sidewalk
Go on, move on, go by, say bye-bye
And date and sign the paper
I'm living tired, over up and under
Moon overhead, glow down on asunder
Life pouring through the glassy wall
I've never felt so tall
I'm holding on 'til the end of the book
But every night when I go to sleep
I never know if I will wake up in the morning
And though everybody dies frustrated and sad
You're beautiful, you're beautiful, you're beautiful, you're beautiful
And though everybody dies cold and alone
You're powerful, you're powerful, you're powerful, you're powerful
And though everybody dies frustrated and sad
And though everybody dies cold and alone
And though you've come up to the end of the sidewalk
Go on, move on, go by, say bye-bye
And date and sign the paper
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10. |
Concern
03:47
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I'm so fucking bored I could kill myself
I'm so fucking bored I could kill myself
I'm so fucking bored I could kill myself
I'm so fucking bored I could kill myself
But I wouldn't, no I wouldn't
But that's not to say that I couldn't
I don't have a plan, but I'm sure I could throw something together
I need to get away from this place
Chekhov's gun is in my mouth and fuck if I'm not gonna use it
I'm so fucking bored I could kill myself
I'm so fucking bored I could kill myself
I'm so fucking bored I could kill myself
I'm so fucking bored I could kill myself
I'd fucking love to punish myself for all the things I've done
Even if they're only nebulously defined
Let every muscle and structure and bone collapse
Let myself atrophy into an amorphous blob
'Cause that's just who I am
And I don't give a damn
No, I don't give a damn
I need to figure out some way for me to get through the day
But how can I, when the static sings my name?
I have an open wound whose name is Me
And I'm trying to sew stitches but they won't keep themselves sewn up
I'm so fucking bored I could kill myself
I'm so fucking bored I could kill myself
I'm so fucking bored I could kill myself
I'm so fucking bored I could kill myself
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11. |
||||
Amy, sit next to me and turn towards me with that mercurial gaze
I'm amazed that you haven't noticed with how long I've been staring
Amy, our victory excuses me when I hold your hand
Oh, Amy, you scare me, and what am I supposed to do?
Amy, I know I spend a lot of time opining on the boys
But all I want to do is just get close to you
Oh, Amy, to tell the truth when you embrace me I am over the moon
And when we're out together on a sunny Sunday afternoon
It's nice to know you're there for me
As we sit in café chairs and talk over some tea
And even though I cherish what we have and know it's probably all there is
Deep down in my heart, I want more
Amy, with an intellect like yours I'm sure you could have anyone you like
And yet you're alone, and I can't help but wonder why that is
And sometimes, well, do you send me signals? How could I tell?
Oh, Amy, is it true? Do you want me too?
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12. |
Our Retired Explorer
02:02
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Just one more drink and then I should be on my way home
I'm not entirely sure what you're talking about
I've had a really nice time, but my dogs need to be fed
I must say that in the right light, you look like Shackleton
Comment allez-vous ce soir? Je suis comme ci comme ça
Yes, a penguin taught me French back in Antarctica
Yes, I could show you the way that shadows colonize snow
Ice breaking up on the bay off the Lassiter Coast
Light failing over the pole as every longitude leads
Up to your frostbitten feet, oh, you're very sweet
Thank you for the flowers and the book by Derrida
But I must be getting back to dear Antarctica
Say, do you have a ship and a dozen able men
That maybe you could lend me?
Oh, Antarctica
Oh, Antarctica
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13. |
||||
I live my life
Time goes by
I'm ticking down the clock
Until I die
I move on
I'm always moving on
I find it hard to hold on
To things before they're gone
You live your life, and I'll do mine
I'm busy just existing
[scatting]
You live your life, and I'll do mine
I'm busy just existing
I'm busy just existing
I'm busy just existing
I'm busy just existing
And I know that you would wish the best for me
(and I know you would wish the best)
And I know that you would want me to be happy
(and I know you would lift me up)
And I know that you can't see that I'm just treading water
(I'm just floating in the sea)
And I know that you can't help but make me feel much smaller
But I ask of you: please live your life, and I'll focus on mine
I'm busy just existing
I'm busy just existing
I'm busy just existing
I'm busy just existing
I'm busy just existing
I'm busy just existing
I'm busy just existing
I'm busy just existing
I'm busy living my life
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14. |
Eaves
03:13
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Dextro, cough down two for one, I might as well
Glass of water on the desk, box of crackers to my right
Pinch nose and close my eyes, wait a while, wait a while
Every time, every time, why would I...? Why would I?
I watch the hours pass by
Thirteen to twenty five
Sheets and sleep over headache dreams
Sink teeth into the night
The plastic bottles, the cardboard boxes
The bag sits beneath the filth, it sits in the back of my head
Receipts, receipts, you only exist to expose me
Isn't that who I am whether I like it or not?
I watch the hours pass by
Thirteen to twenty five
Sheets and sleep over headache dreams
Sink teeth into the night
I watch the blue inclined
Thrumming in tune with mine
Pleas and please echo through the eaves
Sink teeth into my spine
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15. |
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Superman, swallow your Kryptonite
Holding hands, contemplate suicide
Old King Tut lies in his crypt tonight
Summer's here, but she's not anymore
Gone away, when I want her here today
(gone away, she's gone away)
Out of sync, out of drink, out of sight
(gone away, she's gone away)
But the time is right and I need you here tonight
(gone away, she's gone away)
Gone away, she's gone away
Stars are bright, and I will be watching
Dogs are barking at the sky
Hands that clutch and tear at angry pillows
Strangers' eyes are asking why
Superman, swallow your Kryptonite
Holding hands, contemplate suicide
Old King Tut lies in his crypt tonight
Summer's here, but she's not anymore
Gone away, when I want her here today
(gone away, she's gone away)
Out of sync, out of drink, out of sight
(gone away, she's gone away)
But the time is right and I need you here tonight
(gone away, she's gone away)
Gone away, she's gone away
Stars are bright, and I will be watching
Dogs are barking at the sky
Hands that clutch and tear at angry pillows
Strangers' eyes are asking why
Asking why
Asking why
Asking why
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16. |
Asunder (demo)
02:59
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I'm torn asunder and can't help but wonder if you're there
No one to help me, it seems like you've vanished in thin air
I'm torn in two and it's making me blue but the way that I felt wasn't worth all the hurt and now
I'm somewhere else and I don't give a shit whether you'll care
I saved myself from the hell that you turned my life into
Calling me back won't fix things and that's something that you knew
Taking great pains to restrain how I felt didn't do no one favours, at least by my count so let's
Just swear to silence, say there's nothing left for me and you
Here's what you tell me: you say you feel empty without me
You tell me I am something and someone you really need
Maybe you should have thought of consequences before you did things that would push me away and, well
No-one would blame me for leaving you cold and I can't understand why you can't comprehend this and
Even though I don't love you anymore, I still hope you take care and there's no better way than to
Pack up your feelings for me and then set those feelings free
I'm torn asunder and can't help but wonder if you're there
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17. |
Rainbow Connection
02:33
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Why are there so many songs about rainbows
And what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions
And rainbows have nothing to hide
So we've been told, and some choose to believe it
I know they're wrong, wait and see
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection
The lovers, the dreamers, and me
You said that every wish would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star
Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it
Look what it's done so far
What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing
And what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection
The lovers, the dreamers, and me
All of under its spell
We know that it's probably magic
Have you been half-asleep, and have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name
Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same
I've heard it too many times to ignore it
It's something that I'm supposed to be
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection
The lovers, the dreamers, and me
La da da dee da da doo
La da dee da da da da doo
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18. |
Pretty in Pink (demo)
04:10
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She said I look pretty in pink
Oh, thank you, I said, but I don't think it suits me
I feel so cold inside my veins and pulled back in my head
She said it doesn't matter if I show up today
Nobody will notice and they'll move on without you, it's better just to stay
I can feel the states beneath me
Louisiana at my feet
I don't recognise the pieces
I'm becoming incomplete
I live a lonely life but it's mine
And no-one can take that away from me
But sometimes, I wish they could, sometimes I know I can't take care of myself
She said the heartache runs in those bitter lines of pink
I feel so overwrought I don't know what to think
I can feel the weight above me
Crushing down on what's below
I can't recollect the pieces
There is nothing I don't know
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19. |
Outta Here
03:27
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You've taken me for granted and made me wait on you
You never make me feel good or even say thank you
I'm out of here
I ain't comin' back no more (ain't comin' back no more)
Have yourself a nice life
'Cause I'm out of here
I'm going to find somebody who appreciates me
I know that I'm a good catch so I should be happy
But you've taken me for granted and made me wait on you
You never make me feel good or even say thank you
I'm out of here
I ain't comin' back no more (ain't comin' back no more)
Have yourself a nice life
'Cause I'm out of here
You are going to feel stupid some day
When you realize what you threw away
Nobody else can make you feel like I do
Have a nice life without me, you fool!
I'm out of here
I ain't comin' back no more (ain't comin' back no more)
Have yourself a nice life
'Cause I'm out of here
I'm out of here
I ain't comin' back no more (ain't comin' back no more)
Have yourself a nice life
'Cause I'm out of here
I'm out of here
I ain't comin' back no more (ain't comin' back no more)
Have yourself a nice life
'Cause I'm out of here
I'm out of here
I ain't comin' back no more (ain't comin' back no more)
Have yourself a nice life
'Cause I'm out of here
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20. |
Haverford
03:13
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About another hour 'til the train gets here
If it runs on time
The rumbling is crystal clear
There's another on the line
A softer world of greys and blues
The wind is whistling
Looking past the residue
Though beyond is nothing
And I want you to tell me
And I really want to know
When you tried to hang yourself from the rafters
Why didn't you leave a note?
Once I'm on the train, I lay back in my seat
It's a long way back to Haverford and I need to get some sleep
I'm tired of the endless thoughts that run through my head
I wish I couldn't think of things I should've done instead
And I want you to tell me
And I really want to know
When you tried to hang yourself from the rafters
Why didn't you leave a note?
It's okay, I'm not angry
I'm just really glad you're safe
Though I wish you could have told me
Before things just got away
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21. |
September Gurls
02:47
|
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September girls do so much
I was your butch, and you were touched
I loved you, well, nevermind
I've been crying all the time
December girls got it bad
December girls got it bad
September girls, I don't know why
How can I deny what's inside?
Even though I'll keep away
They will love all our days
December girls got it bad
December girls got it bad
When I get to bed late at night
That's the time she makes things right
Oh, when she lies next to me
September girls do so much
I was your butch, and you were touched
I loved you, well, nevermind
I've been crying all the time
December girls got it bad
December girls got it bad
December girls got it bad, ooh
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22. |
||||
Deary diary, have I given up yet?
How much time do I have left?
She loves me; she loves me not
Does it matter in the end?
I've got a million different ways to live my life
I've got a million different ways I could be right
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways
Circle gets the square, night turns to day
Once more with feeling before I stop
And go, and go, and go
I've got a million different ways to live my life
I've got a million different ways I could be right
I've got a million different ways to waste my time
And there's a million others waiting in line
I'm a wreck, you know I'm a mess
Held together by some string and tape
Overreaching, underachieving
It's no wonder, it's no wonder
|
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23. |
Rabbits 2
02:58
|
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It's Thursday when I write this song
It's Friday when you pick up
On Saturday, I'm at my parents' so you're out of luck
On Sunday, you've got church
And I think of sleeping in
And Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and we circle 'round the bend
You want to fuck like rabbits
But I don't know if I'm into you
And I still don't know if that is in the cards
You want to fuck like rabbits
But I'm seven states away
I've never met you, and now I think I never will
We never talk anymore, oh no
I'm afraid of what we've become
I make mistakes like it's my full time job
So maybe this whole thing was just a mistake
You want to fuck like rabbits
But I don't know if I'm into you
And I still don't know if that is in the cards
You want to fuck like rabbits
But I'm seven states away
I've never met you, and now I think I never will
You think you can have it, just cause you want it
I think you've a lot to learn
You pull out all the stops, hop like a rabbit hops
But the dance don't mean you deserve it
|
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24. |
Everyday (demo)
03:35
|
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I don't care if the sun turns to rain
I will bask in nature's splendour
I don't care if the pleasure turns to pain
I will show God I'll endure
I don't mind if the water turns to wine
Though for seven months I'll find myself parched
I don't need any of your sympathy
It's clear that you don't know where to start
I think by now you know
I think I've lost it
Somewhere in everyday
'Cause there's a cost to
The things we take for granted
And I really have to hand it to you
You put up with the things I do
And I don't know how you stand it
|
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25. |
Peep-Hole 1
01:00
|
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Give me the cost of the albatross
And wear it 'round your neck for size
Don't let it get you down
I'm looking inside your house
Oh, and it smells so nice
Your house always looks so nice
Maybe they're twice as high, laughing
Maybe the time is right, you know
Promise me not to leave
I'm looking inside your brain
And Christ, it's a cluttered mess
I love you, I must confess
|
||||
26. |
Link Rot (demo)
02:54
|
|||
She's chasing shots of Robitussin with water
She's wasting time, not doing things that she oughta
She can't remember the last time that she had her life together
The drugs won't work right
She's running low on life
And every night when she goes to bed, she don't know if the next day will come
She's just another dead person on the internet
She's just another inactive blog, a list of regrets
She's just another username, a character string, an index
Her writing's on the wall, year after year
The dust is gathering, the links are rotting away
And bit by bit every trace is erased 'til all that's left is a name
She's popping pills that are giving her headaches
She's brushing wrappers aside, slips through the days
She's wondering what time it is and why the light's so bright
There's a fire inside her skull
And she wonders if it could tear a hole
The shiver shiver's whispering, the strings are delicate
She's just another dead person on the internet
She's just another inactive blog, a list of regrets
She's just another username, a character string, an index
Her writing's on the wall, year after year
The dust is gathering, the links are rotting away
And bit by bit every trace is erased 'til all that's left is a name
|
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27. |
Poor Places
03:30
|
|||
It's my father's voice trailing off
Sailors sailing off in the morning to fight the war
For the air-conditioned rooms
At the top of the stairs, at the head of the table
But it takes all the life out of me
When it's hot in the poor places tonight
I'm not going outside
There's bourbon on the breath
Of the singer you love so much, he doesn't care
He takes all of his words from the books
That you don't read anyway
His jaw's been broken and his bandage is wrapped too tight
His fangs have been pulled and I really wanna see you tonight
But it takes all the breath out of me
How they cried all over overseas
When it's hot in the poor places tonight
I'm not going outside
And it makes no difference to me
How they cried all over overseas
When it's hot in the poor places tonight
I'm not going outside
When it's hot in the poor places tonight
I'm not going outside
I'm not going outside
I'm not going outside
I'm not going outside
|
||||
28. |
Drug Knuckles
04:02
|
|||
She needs someone to sing her to sleep
She needs somebody's arms to hold her down
And in the morning at work and outside
She's so self-conscious 'bout that daytime scowl
She lingers on and I know it's not my place
But I want to reach out to her, but I know she'd punch my face
She's got her drug knuckles out in full force
She's gotta reconsider and feel remorse
She'd rather hear the truth than have me lie
And I know I've got holes in my alibi
But I don't know if I could look her in the eye
And tell her that I know what's wrong
And I'm afraid that she won't want to change
I know her well, I can see when her knuckles swell
She's got her drug knuckles out in full force
She's gotta reconsider and feel remorse
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29. |
Going On 2
01:24
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I'm gonna drown myself in the pastel ocean down in Santa Monica
I'm gonna walk down to the pier and go on the Ferris wheel
I'm gonna wait until it gets to the top and then I'm gonna look over the edge
And somewhere spiralling through vertigo I'll look back up and think about what you said:
"I'm not upset, I'm just tired
I'm gonna go on and I'll wake up and it'll be Monday"
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Sometimes the Cat Eugene, Oregon
Sometimes the Cat is
glasnost (content generation algorithm)
and perestroika (indestructible object).
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